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Crazy Noises: Lisa Simpson, This Isn’t Your Life
“I’ll give you the address of a nice preschool.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises...
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Quote of the Day
“Now son, on your first day of school I’d like to pass along the words of advice my father gave me.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, you’re dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a...
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Reading Digest: Museums and Galleries Edition
“Forget it, Marge, there is no way I’m spending my Saturdays at a museum. Unless . . . museums don’t have foosball, do they?” – Homer Simpson This week, we’ve got one link to an actual museum, one...
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Reading Digest: The Late 80s/Early 90s Strike Back Edition
“It all happened in 1990. Back then, the artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as Prince, Tracy Ullman was entertaining America with songs, sketches, and crudely drawn filler material.”...
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Reading Digest: Alumni Success Edition
“I can assure you our preschool is of the highest quality. Over 75% of our graduates go on to first grade.” – Miss Tillingham’s School for Snotty Girls and Mama’s Boys Administrator It’s always nice...
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Quote of the Day
“Homer, I can’t get the baby to burp. Could you try for a while?” – Marge Simpson “No problem, I’ll just give her a sip of beer. C’mon Maggie, it’s Miller time.” – Homer Simpson
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Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart, Or Just Stay Out of It Entirely
“Bart was feeling mighty blue.” – Homer Simpson “It’s a shame what school can do.” – Marge Simpson “For no reason, here’s Apu.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Let me start by saying something nice. It was...
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Reading Digest: The Content Low of High Summer Edition
“And so, Springfield’s heatwave continues. With today’s temperature exceeding the record for this date, set way back four billion years ago when the Earth was just a ball of molten lava.” – Kent...
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Quote of the Day
“Bart, son, you want to play catch?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Bart Simpson “When a boy doesn’t want to play catch with his old man something is seriously wrong.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll play catch with...
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Reading Digest: Quantifying Zombie Simpsons Edition
“Lisa, if I have five apples and I take away three apples, how many apples do I have left?” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor “Two apples.” – Lisa Simpson “Wait a minute . . . she’s right!” – Homer Simpson This...
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Quote of the Day
“The point I’m trying to make here is that Bart must learn to be less of an individual and more a faceless slug.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor
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Quote of the Day
“And the ugly duckling was amazed to realize it had grown into a beautiful swan. So you see children, there is hope for anyone.” – Kindergarten Teacher “Even me?” – Bart Simpson “No.” – Kindergarten...
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Quote of the Day
“Marge, name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning?” – Homer Simpson “Balzac.” – Marge Simpson “No need for potty mouth just because you can’t think of one.” – Homer Simpson
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Quote of the Day
“And so, just as things looked their worst…” – Marge Simpson “I realized I could make money selling my medication to Deadheads.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Grampa, what are you talking about?” – Marge...
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Quote of the Day
“I have soy milk. The doctor says the real kind could kill me.” – Milhouse van Houten Happy (one day belated) birthday, Pamela Hayden!
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Quote of the Day
“We’ve needed a new air conditioner for years! And our stop gap solution is getting cranky.” – Homer Simpson
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Reading Digest: In Denial About Season 27 Edition
“Homer, I want you to look at this drawing Bart did.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, it’s beautiful! Oh, let’s put Bart’s beautiful drawing up on the fridge-” – Homer Simpson “Homer, stop! Would you please...
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Quote of the Day
“Bart, would you like to read a book?” – Marge Simpson “No.” – Bart Simpson
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Quote of the Day
♫”And Bingo was his name-0!”♫ – Bart Simpson “Added extra clap. Not college material.” – Kindergarten Teacher Happy birthday Al Jean!
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Reading Digest: Quantifying Zombie Simpsons Edition
“Lisa, if I have five apples and I take away three apples, how many apples do I have left?” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor “Two apples.” – Lisa Simpson “Wait a minute . . . she’s right!” – Homer Simpson This...
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